“ We have now landed in Antarctica Dr. Drain “ said the Flight Attendant , Dr. Drain was excited to explore the nature of Antarctica. He headed straight towards the sea. “This is amazing!” He cried. He gazed at the Seals eating their prey and Penguins swimming along the Antarctic sea. “ It’s great to be in Antarctica” He says. Dr. Drain looked back and noticed that his private jet wasn’t there nor the flight attendants.
“Huh? HELLO!” He cried. Dr. Drain found it hard to walk , wind was blowing in his face and he found it hard to walk on ice. “HELLO” He shouted . At this time he was all alone by himself in the cold antarctic land. “ I need to find shelter fast!” he murmured. He looked everywhere around him.
“THERE!” He declared. Dr. Drain eventually walked slow all the way to the iced cave. “I’ve made it, now I just gotta keep myself warm and comfortable” He said. But how? His stomach was grumbling, Dr. Drain was very hungry. ‘Luckily’ he had some food in his backpack. “uh oh , this is not so good.” He pulled out a frozen sandwich, frozen drinks and frozen lunch. Poor Dr. Drain. He went back out the cave and stared at the sky, scanning for help.
“Are you alright?” He felt a tap on his shoulder. Dr. Drain turned around and saw a stranger. “HUh?? Yes, indeed , I just need to find my way out of here” He replied. “Well I can help you” He said. The stranger guided him to his private jet. “Why are you here” The stranger questioned. “Enough said” Murmured Dr. Drain. After a day of finding help in antarctica , Dr. Drain wanted to go back to Antarctica the next year:)
Nice writing Josephine with some great use of variety of sentence types to good effect. I like how the story builds up with some good depth to your ideas and explanation in the first two paragraphs. I think the third paragraph really needs more adding to it. The story finishes very quickly and you could have expanded this more to explain who the stranger was and why and where had he come from.
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